October 2026

I went in for thread. I came out questioning my life choices (and based on the looks I got, Spotlight’s merchandising display decisions, honestly).

It started innocently enough — a quick trip to Spotlight for haberdashery supplies. The kind of errand that should’ve taken ten minutes and ended with me forgetting what I originally went into buy. But as I headed for the button section… I was stopped in my tracks. There is was, one teal blue velvet cushion, glowing like forbidden fruit under fluorescent lighting. Deep, sumptuous, sexy velvet, practically whispering “upcoming Bodysex workshop” in a way no inanimate object has any business doing.

Naturally, I abandoned all button and thread-related ambitions on the spot.

What followed was less “casual browsing” and more “competitive excavation.” I almost emptied three huge perplex tubs of cushions onto the floor, in search of 10 matching cushions. I leaned in hard through the 30cm slit in the tub – head, shoulders, dignity and all – hunting for the exact shade of teal and blue that screamed indulgence and empowerment rather than grandma’s lounge room.

The shoppers around me ran the full emotional spectrum: mild curiosity, visible alarm, one woman who looked ready to alert staff. Nobody asked what I was doing. Nobody needed to. I was on a mission. A mission for better and #independentorgasm here in Australia.

I left with armfuls of teal and royal blue velvet cushions, zero thread, and the quiet satisfaction of a woman who knew exactly what her workshop needs.

Until next time…

Jacqui ‘The O Whisperer’ Chaplin

Bodysex Australia’s offers the first Australian Bodysex Workshop in February 2027. Read all about it…